powerfully reclaiming the authentic narratives that define us
By: Dr. M. Christopher Pugh
For Black men, what is love without respect? It’s a hollow sentiment, a tool for manipulation, obsession, and abuse. Respect is not merely a virtue; it is the foundation upon which love stands. For men, especially those of our image, likeness, and culture, respect is not optional; it is mandatory. Without it, our identity becomes vulnerable to those who exploit and distort our essence for their own gain.
Black men are tasked with a formidable challenge: owning and highlighting our image for the sake of self-respect. In a world where deception often overshadows truth, men must stand steadfast. We must breathe, speak, and embody truth even when surrounded by those who seek to undermine us.
But here lies the problem: too many voices, those who are neither of us nor for us, have claimed ownership over the narratives that define Black men. They manipulate our habits, emotions, and images in an effort to control our image. When others control how we are perceived, they risk dictating how we perceive ourselves. Ironically, many of these same voices neither desire our company nor understand our value.
Why is a Black man’s presence unsettling to some? Because his very existence exposes insecurity, ambiguity, and discomfort. His truth, a truth grounded in reality and fact, as defined by the 1828 Webster’s Dictionary, is a threat to those who thrive on deception. For them, acknowledging a man’s truth is tantamount to admitting their incompetence, manipulation, or malice.
These same voices are celebrated, albeit, for crafting narratives about men they neither know nor care to understand. Their distorted depictions create avatars, fictional representations of “Black men”, that serve as scapegoats and profit engines in a game where families and communities are the ultimate casualties.
The game is insidious. Many don’t even realize they are players. They fail to see how the distortion of men’s images benefits those who perpetuate these narratives. Take, for instance, the term “real man.” It’s a phrase weaponized by deceivers to mold men into tools of convenience and entertainment. “A real man would,” they say, finishing the sentence with their own desires, regardless of the danger or degradation it imposes on the man. Rarely do they acknowledge that a real man lives his purpose, regardless of external discomfort or ridicule.
What is the antidote to this game? Self-respect. When men understand how others profit from their distorted image, they reclaim their power. Self-respect becomes a cultural imperative.
And what is culture? It is both a chosen way of life and our response when choices are stripped away. Culture reveals character—the essence of who we are both publicly and privately. When men prioritize character and culture, they dismantle the avatars used to distort their identity.
Yet, living with purpose comes with its challenges. As men shine their light, they will inevitably encounter shade. The world may ridicule, dismiss, or vilify their presence; however, the world cannot ignore their truth. The assignment for men is clear: make your presence known, felt and appreciated. Live transparently and embrace your purpose, even in the face of opposition.
To those who respect and uplift men, we salute you. Your support is a beacon of hope in a world intent on erasing our worth. In return, we commit to being honest and steadfast. We will provide and protect without neglecting ourselves. We will honor our assignments with integrity and courage.
Because love without respect is not love at all. It is a weapon of mass distraction, a means to control and demean. Respect, on the other hand, is the key to freedom. It is the creed by which men must live.
